>>>Wherever you are – be there!
Do you think about work emails while you’re cooking dinner? Are you mentally plotting out the running sheet for the weekend’s social activities while in a board meeting? Are you fully present as you go about your day-to-day? The impact of being mentally absent is not to be trifled with and so I’d like to encourage you with upmost gentleness yet firmness - wherever you are, be there! All there.
I’m really fascinated by the concept of presence: in the context of this piece, having presence is different from being present, just to clarify! Presence or being present can be difficult to clearly define but to me it’s about attention. To be present means to be interested, to be invested, to be more focused and fully conscious of the moment. This means the mind isn’t wandering, you’re not worrying about tomorrow’s extensive to do list or rehashing last week’s client meeting. The monkey chatter is silenced.
The opposite of being present is absence. It’s as simple as that. It looks like tuning out while someone is speaking, struggling to pay attention and flitting from thought to thought, action to action. This is the realm of ‘busy’ and has a ton of negatives. It makes us more vulnerable to the effects of stress, with research showing being present can increase our ability to manage stress. It also can damage our professional and personal relationships. When we’re mentally absent we lose the train of conversation and are constantly distracted. You know that feeling of seeing someone’s eyes glaze over as you’re speaking? It doesn’t feel great, does it? It makes people feel ignored, not seen, heard or even valued. Ouch!
Being present seems simple in theory but actually being present, stopping to smell the roses, particularly if it’s a new-ish state of being, can feel really difficult in daily life. It’s a muscle that will get stronger the more you use it, and here’s some simple strategies:
Create a mantra such as ‘be here now’ that you mentally repeat to yourself as a reminder
Add a buffer to your work calendar of at least 10 minutes between meetings or between task batching to add white space to your day
Do deep breathing at regular intervals throughout the day
Use ‘break’ times intentionally - resist the urge to pick up your phone immediately but rather check in with yourself, your body and how you’re feeling
Avoid multitasking which inevitably leads to you mentally juggling too many things
Have lunch away from your desk and if you can add a walk outside to that time, even better
Embrace transition times in your day as opportunities to let go of the ‘then’ to be present in the ‘now'
Literally stop and smell the roses, or coffee, or whatever sensorial delight that crosses your path
In conversation, hold eye contact and ask meaningful, relevant questions
If you feel the need to do ‘something’ in the moment, try listing three things to be grateful for in the here and now.
An added bonus of being present and giving yourself space to move from one task to another, helps increase productivity. Notice yourself becoming more focussed, dial down the monkey chatter, and allow for more creative thought and actions.
As above, being present is something that can take some getting used to and like all things, a touch of accountability is always a great idea to embed a habit. That’s where I come in! Please reach out, and let’s get you present.
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